In storytelling, one part I love and hate is the ending. I am constantly gripped by an obsession to know what happens in the end, yet constrained by nature, to understand that some things just never end. It is such a conflict you see, being curious and yet afraid to poke a can that cannot be sealed once opened.
For instance, if I knew what awaited me at the end of The Fault In Our Stars, I probably would not have read it ( and all other John Green books to be honest). This is life. Very inconclusive. I love and hate it.
If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know that I am fascinated by beginnings and the promise they hold. The anxiety is there, but the unforetold promises of possibilities always swallow them. Endings on the other hand, come more often to me than I’d like. As I said in Go, I am constantly on the move, a nomad through this life and world. And it gives that feeling of restlessness and instability.
One new thing I have learnt that the lesson is not always in the end. It is the pauses in between the beginning and the ends that make it matter.
I am sitting at my sister’s table and suddenly recall one August night in Jos. My friend, Jummy, and I bought some suya from our favourite spot — it was so hot and spicy that my ears were ringing. But I also remember how hard we laughed throughout the night at my antics when the pepper became too much for me. We laughed so hard I peed a little. I recall pauses like my trip to Cape Coast with Kezzy and how the ocean took her slippers and a random nice guy followed the waves to retrieve them. A silly grin graces my face effortlessly. These pauses take the edge off the endings.
It has been an entire year since I hopped on a plane to Ghana and my life has been irrevocably altered by that experience. I was so torn when my stay was reaching its ending, but I am slowly letting go of my grip on the story.
I shall watch it unravel, but more than that, I will be sure to make beautiful pauses, picture-worthy or meme-worthy pauses. Pauses I’ll remember for a lifetime. Pauses that would make the painful endings worth it. Like John Green, I am learning to tell stories that may not have happy endings, but are honest, true and littered with pockets of joy and adventure.
This was supposed to come on the last day of August but oh well. I guess endings never end. 🤗