I’mBride of Christ
The Holy Week that felt unholy and deeply wounding.
The one who loves us gives us an overwhelming victory in all these difficulties. [38] I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love which Christ Jesus our Lord shows us. We can’t be separated by death or life , by angels or rulers, by anything in the present or anything in the future, by forces [39] or powers in the world above or in the world below, or by anything else in creation.
Romans 8:37-39 GW
I would 'normally' go through this week in deep inward reflection but I must confess I have been wondering just how I can celebrate this weekend without my bride. (How bold of me to use the word normal . There is no such thing here)
Some similitude of the anguish of the first Easter and the weight of an impending emptiness has been marking my every step. This journey has not been linear. There were days I did not want to do anything because 'to what end?' That’s all I’ll ask.
And because my King is a prayer answering one, He’ll tell me to rise and live. It is his breath in my lungs so I must live. I must. Even when my beloved no longer lives.
I use purple because of how much this colour means to my royal baby.
The one whom God was with and through whom God is still with us. Not in any way validating the obtuse wrongness of death or it’s stingless blow, we acknowledge. I acknowledge that even in the brokenness of this world, God births purpose. My eyes may not see it, may I teach my heart to believe it. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck us from his hands. And when the overpowering waves of grief and loss, emptiness and fears assail, I am reminded that during a week like this,
He knew what he was bound to face a few days from making a whip in the temple and yet he showed up. He knew that those 7 woes he pronounced on the Pharisees will further incense them to end his mortal life and yet he spoke. He knew that while riding on a colt and being celebrated in the highest manner of Hossana, those same voices will chant with more fervour Crucify
How easy it is for the hearts of men to be turned by events and circumstances. I hear my saviour say, "when the Son of Man returns, will He find faith on earth?"
There is no denying the pain of death and the anomaly of its existence, thanks to the fall. And yet, God took that which was the most tormenting and placed upon his righteous son, so that I might on this day, have hope to see my baby soon. That this chasm formed by hell’s gates was turned into a gateway by The Way, The Truth and The Life. In being The Way, He created a bridge to cross over. In being The Truth, he set all captives free - (for you shall know the truth and it shall set you free). In being The Life, he made a mockery and spectacle of death by reinvigorating what was for destruction into a channel for ascension.
As with all things, it is a day at a time.
But I am constantly aware that I have this hope as an anchor for my soul and even when the wave toss and churn (and they do ever so often), my anchor holds within the veil and I can never go under.
So every day I have, I will choose to live. To be. To exist in the fullness of the purchase of my saviour during this week 2000 years ago. I will lay myself and emotions, my fears and anguish right beside him kneeling in Gethsemane saying: "if you can make this cup pass over Father, yet not my will but yours be done" and even if no one watches and prays with.
Always and only for his glory.
Saints, Grace and Peace unto you in this season.
Reflect upon the blessed saviour and his heart for you. Rest in his unchanging love. 💜💜💜💜💜
Hey there, I wrote this during the last Easter. For those of you who have been here for a while, you knew some parts of the horror of going through the loss of my dear friend Pwanedo Alson. But some parts that might be unknown to you is that, she was set to be wed during the Easter weekend. The ghastly motor accident that took her life and about 7 others on January 20th 2024 was a rude and shattering one. Because barely two months from what would have been a day of rejoicing, we were met with an inconcievable news. I watched my Calendar remind me of the coming wedding and I was helpless. The grief and anguish that racked through my body and soul almost drowned me but for the mercy of God and prayers of saints. I’m sharing this, not to throw a pity party or raise a idolatrous altar, but because many people said these words healed them and helped them in their grief that first weekend.
If this is you, I assure you that the Man of Sorrows, acquainted with suffering and grief is your Lord. Do not hide your pain from Him. Take it to Him and watch His light break out from within the deepest corners of your broken and darkened heart. Grief is painful — understatement of the year. It is more excruciating when it seems like the church ignores it’s existence or at worst, doesn’t know how to deal with it. I always recommend resources that helped me. A Grief Observed by CS Lewis, Somewhere More Holy by Tony Woodclife and Glorious Ruins by Tulian Tchividan.
I hope these help.
Here are other links to my own journey as honestly as I tried to share. Are there birthdays in heaven?, Here, Blue, and I can’t do this. May God heal your broken heart and envelope you with his comfort. May you never have reason to mourn alone or be in the valley of sorrow without divine companionship.
Love, Ballie 💖
