I Forgot
These two words often come in response to a blunder and are often used as excuses too. But do you know that forgetting is a valid reason? Forgetting is a thing.
Before now, it used to baffle me that people will forget the important stuff. I just presumed that they didn’t care enough. I mean how can you forget to call after saying you would — a declaration that is usually made under no form of duress at all. How can you forget that we had a meeting?
I used to have a very reliable memory. One that kept track of useful and useless details alike — birthdays, anniversaries, favourite foods, worst nightmare, least favourite stationery and the likes. Then my mind started getting overloaded and my memory began to glitch. I will be lying if I said I suddenly had more respect for all the forgetful people in the world. I just saw it as an inconvenience. One I tried to work my way around. Thanks to technology we have so much help at our finger tips.
Guess what I just found out this morning? I forgot to double-check if my Dedication page was intact in the second edition of my book, so chances are that the mass production has no dedication page. I know! I wrote Mistakes just a few months ago and here I am again. Sigh. I am tired of myself. Some days I get everything right, other days I forget it’s my parents’ wedding anniversary, or remember that I forgot a scholarship deadline a little too late. It’s an unending swing from ‘I got this’ to’ what am I even doing?’
What I am learning is, that the mind is such a massive universe that powers so much in our world. But when certain spheres are beginning to function differently, it simply means external input has changed, and in return, you as a person must adapt to that change.
I’ve had the privilege of working with multiple neuro-divergent people lately, and they have opened my eyes to the versatility of the mind and how we can adapt and adopt new ways to cope with any deficit. But more than that, they have shown me the beauty of acceptance and how freeing it can be. So I have accepted that I could become more forgetful, and I will now work on managing excesses that trigger me. Denial is the enemy of problem-solving.
So, I forgot to do so many things including writing a to-do list that would help me remember to do certain tasks. I forgot to set an alarm to wake me up. But I hope I will do better tomorrow.
Love, Ballie💖
To all the people struggling with any mental health conflict or neurodiversity, you are stars. May your days be easy and your nights peaceful.
