Mistakes
Yikes! Do you have an eraser?
No one likes making mistakes. A lot of us were raised in cultures where mistakes were frowned upon and criticized with utmost cruelty. I’ve had to unlearn my outlook on mistakes, and still, I struggle.
If there’s anything being a teacher has taught me, it is that mistakes are meant to be more than tolerated, they ought to be celebrated. As proof that the learner is trying, making effort. All of this is easier said than done. Because when you throw the colourful range of human emotion in the mix of the above quote, it becomes really hard to do.
Another thing that is true but rarely applied is that mistakes ought to be corrected. Our world today is so fixated on not offending people that we do them a disservice by not telling them the truth. Mistakes exist so we can learn from them. But if we are unaware that we have made a mistake, how can we take any kind of correction?
You might have been raised with a negative connotation of mistakes. Taught to be ashamed of making them, or worse, terrified of being discovered after you have made them. Maybe that’s why you love pencils more than pens and celebrate the delete button more than the send button. I am you. And like I said above, I still struggle.
I promised everyone honesty a few months ago, so here goes. Welcome to my struggles. In November 2021, I put out my first book and it was well, a first. Here’s a secret. I forgot to TK in my writing of chapter one. Yup. Big mistake. I forgot the name of an important tree, used a placeholder but forgot to revisit it and published it. Guess the worst part? It was chapter one. If you’ve read Growing, Up North, you have come across the Dura Palm in chapter one. I’m cringing right now, I’m sorry but the appropriate plant is the Deleb palm. Yeah, so I released a book and the biggest blunder I made was in the first chapter. 😬😭 Everyone who uses google from chapter One might think I am a crazy person.
Let me take you through my discovery process. When I found out, I felt so disappointed in myself. I was already dealing with imposter syndrome and now this shocking revelation took me down like an avalanche. I slowly stopped doing publicity because omg why be loud about a book that has your biggest mistake on the first page? Dear God, I beat myself up and I felt like a fraud. It didn't help that an episode occurred at one of the book readings that demoralised me even more. I have been overthinking that event for more than two months now.
How did I get myself out of that hole? I haven’t. I am still in it. But I had to talk to me to get out of my head.
“Sis, you made a few mistakes, yes. Thank God you spotted them, albiet a bit late — why wasn't it medium where I can just edit. But you can make another edition with the corrections.
You are not perfect, neither is your art, deal with it.
You didn’t fact-check and neither did all the beta readers and editors, it was not solely anyone’s fault — though you could have TKed like a normal person.
You like preaching that perfection is not ours, excellence is — now it’s your turn to live it out.
You did your best then, and you’ll do it again. That’s what matters.
That mistake does not invalidate all the accurate things in your book.
That book is an important piece of literature, this only makes the journey more authentic. Be like say the second part na lie😂”
I said these to myself and some self-deprecating things I am embarrassed to repeat. But the bottom line is, I had to draw an action plan to move on. I can’t hide in shame forever. Or stop writing because of a big blunder. No sir, I can’t afford to do that again.
Now that you have glimpsed into my real-time struggle, I hope we’ll all learn to be kinder to ourselves when we fall. Remember that it’s a part of the process. Love yourselves even at our worst. Learn to be less afraid and ashamed of mistakes. Tolerate, celebrate and correct them when they are made. And I hope you buy my book when the new edition is out. May your life be littered with medals of corrected mistakes where there were bruises and bandages.
