Slow Fade

How choices lead and change us

Balpolam Idi
3 min readMar 13, 2024
Photo by meriç tuna on Unsplash

It’s a slow fade
That sounds cliché, but it’s true
It’s like an erosion
Just a few grains of sand,
A few clumps of earth,
A few layers,
Soon, an entire gully is formed.

It’s a slow fade
Giving in to what you’ve always resented
Suddenly making a strong case for it
Defending your wrong cause rightly
That oath you made now forgotten

It’s a slow fade
When what used to be foul becomes bearable
And bearable becomes doable
And doable in turn becomes livable
And livable, acceptable.

It’s a slow fade
When the bad becomes fair
Fair becomes okay
Then okay becomes good
The voice of condemnation becomes the voice of confirmation
Guilt now morphs into acceptance
And repentance ceases to have the same meaning

Photo by Kier in Sight Archives on Unsplash

It’s an absolute whitewash,
When you realize that black became grey
And grey became cream
And cream looks a lot like white but is not.

It’s a brand new wallpaper.
The Colours are bright and catchy
Reminding you of those beautiful, quiet and cool colours you used to love so much
And what you now cling to;
Their tone was once unappealing, but now you simply can’t seem to do without.

What is not a slow fade is the landslide into the mud of self-righteousness
Or the avalanche of guilt and self-hate that cascades down your throat
That moment of weakness turned into a moment of meekness; when you finally accepted that yeah, you need help.
When you reach the end of yourself, seeking and searching for the Hand that can hold you up.
That moment is

Ballie ©2017

Naturally, I wish you were reading this with Casting crowns playing in the background (a girl can dream eh) nevertheless, I will tell you what is on my mind. I always wondered how people with seemingly strong convictions seemed to head in the opposite direction after a while. My investigation was never concluded before I became what I was observing. I guess my curiosity made me write these years before I found myself on the other side of the fence. Lukewarmness is the most dangerous enemy of any believer, especially in this age. And because it’s a slow fade, we are not wary to guard against it. Compromise and Conformity do not happen loudly. It is like water cutting through a rock. Repeated exposure can make the strongest rock get cut through by water flowing at a consistent mid/low pressure. Dear Child of Light, you are not immune — you become what you behold. I want to share my heart with you. That you do as the Sunday school rhyme advises us: Oh be careful little eyes what you see, Oh be careful little ears what you hear, Oh be careful little feet where you go. Just in case my subtle music evangelism wasn’t loud enough, please listen to Slow Fade by Casting Crowns. If you can, watch the video.

Thank you for reading. ✨I have been thinking hard about the principle of repurposing content for about six months now. And I thought ‘What better way to start than by sharing my ‘first’ works. Slow Fade was first written in 2016, though it was conceived and incubated from hours of listening to Slow Fade by Casting Crowns. Its first public appearance on IG and FB however was in 2017.

If you enjoyed reading this, please help make this post more visible to those who may like it or learn from it by clapping as many times as possible (50x). Please don’t forget to share with others too. Guess what? You can also subscribe to get email deliveries. Yes, you’ll call exclusive dibs on everything I write before I share the links with the rest of the world. ✨

Love, Ballie💖



Balpolam Idi

Live, Love, Give. But most importantly, Dream. Learner. Teacher. Wanderer.