What happens when the Pain Doesn’t go away?
For the first time in about 20 months, I’ve found myself in another bout of rheumatic pain. The last time I had an episode like this was on the day I wrote my final exams during my undergraduate program. I woke up with this immense searing pain in my right hand. From shoulder to fingertips. It was wild. Prior to this, all attacks were localized to my lower limbs, so it was not something I was used to or something I knew how to deal with.
Then the panic started, because I could barely hold my pen and I kept praying to God - God Abeg, how will I write this exam now?
My roommate did my makeup, I was in pain. I took pictures with my closest friends, still in pain. I kept waiting for the pain to disappear because I had prayed, broken bread and believed.
Here is what did not happen, the pain going away suddenly. Disappearing into thin air immediately, with no trace. What happened was that the exam questions were made objective questions! It was unbelievable. This was a core course in our faculty, known for requiring extra work to earn good grades. No one saw it coming, people were frustrated during the exam (if you have been in a federal uni in Nigeria you know what I mean), but I was chuckling all through. Even when the pain would get sharp, I just used my left hand to keep ticking my answers, to fill my details, horrible hand writing like this.
One thing I heard in that episode is - God really loves me. It kept ringing in my head that God really loves me.
It stuck with me. That even when the answer is not what I think it ought to be, He has my best interest at heart.
I now came close to understanding what Paul was talking about. God’s strength being made manifest in our weakness and how He makes all things work together for our good. Now on days my hand is too feeble to lift a cup of tea, God really loves me. On the day I get completely healed, God really loves me. Even if it gets worse than this, God really loves me. On this Christmas Day that may not feel like Christmas, I want to remind you that God really loves you. And He is with you even if the pain doesn’t go away.
Trust His heart for you and lean on Him at your weakest. He really truly does love you.
Love, Ballie 💖
Naruto is an amazing Anime and Pain is one of my peculiar characters, hence his appearance.
